Mervyn Nutkin learns QE

Early autumn:
Worker Nutkin: I'm hungry, I need more acorns.
Guru Nutkin: There's another oak tree shedding acorns over there, look.
WN: That's too far and, anyway, Safety Elf says there might be foxes about.
Parliament Nutkin: Vote for me and I'll make sure there are enough acorns here.
GN: (frowns) That would be a good trick, if you could do it.
PN: I CAN do it (stamps foot). Mervyn, tell them.
Mervyn Nutkin: First, Parliament makes everyone give TheTreasury Nutkin half of all their acorns. Because TheTreasury then has lots of acorns he can give one to anyone who is hungry.
WN: (cheerfully) So I don't have to collect any, I just go to TheTreasury?
MN: (doubtfully) Well, yes, but you must resume collecting when you're feeling better.
WN: Oh yes, I'll definitely do that (trying to remember what 'resume' means and uncrossing his paws in order to vote for PN).

...Later that same year:
WN: I'm hungry again, I want more acorns but Parliament's silly rules say I can't have any more. I shan't be voting for him again.
PN: (whispering menacingly to MN) Remind me, who appoints you?
MN: (thinking fast) If Worker gets hungry then Recession Fox might start sniffing around and we'll all be eaten, so Parliament must relax his rules.
GN: Didn't this happen before with disastrous.... (BBC Nutkin, frightened by PN's menace, starts making a lot of noise, drowning out the rest).
TN: (vaguely remembering a history lesson) If we give out more acorns now, will we have enough left for winter?
MN: If we don't give out more acorns now then Worker will be too hungry to collect any more. But if he's well fed now then he'll collect lots more and we'll all be happy for ever and ever
(MN knows he's too old to be doing with crossing and uncrossing paws. Meanwhile, WN coughs nervously wondering whether he should mention that keeping his Furrybook account up to date prevents him from collecting many nuts these days)
BBC Nutkin: (now sitting on GN) So, eating more nuts now is really investing in the future, easing this 'nut quantity dilemma'?
MN: Exactly! 'Quantitive Easing.' TheTreasury, can we give BBC that nut we held back from her, for being so clever?
TN: (handing over the extra nut) QE it is, then. What clever nutkins we all are!

The next spring...
Chinese Squirrel Wun: Nice little plot those UK squirrels had here.
Chinese Squirrel Tuw: That local fox is far too fat to catch us.

Oh No! It's the Ninkey Nonk.

"Oh No! It's the Ninkey Nonk" is a phrase (from Treehousetv.com, I think) that I find appealing. I wanted to shout it at the top of my voice this morning. You see, to me, the Ninkey Nonk isn't a train, it's a tactic whereby the truth is distorted to suit someone else's ego.

It's an understandable tactic, of course, and it can be quite useful in the short term. But it hits me hard. It makes me feel like I've been knocked to the floor. It winds me for an hour or two.

My sort of Ninkey Nonk requires at least 3 people: the Provider, the person trying to protect the subject's ego; the Object, the person being asked to confirm the Provider's untruth; and the Subject, the person who's ego is being protected.

Today, the Ninkey Nonk in question was being asked to confirm that it was quicker, overall, to drive 30 minutes in the wrong direction to catch a train for what was originally a 20 minute journey. This was because the driver, the subject of this particular Ninkey Nonk, is too timid to drive to unfamiliar places.

I'd rather the three of us all just admitted that, the timid thing. I'm not averse to timidity, in fact it's rather attractive in the right sort of person. But a timid person who pretends they aren't? No, I'm not in favour of the Ninkey Nonk being used to cover up that truth, however well meant.

The Ninkey Nonk is fine for young children, but it really isn't suitable for adults.